• Love - Discover if appointments are a thing of the past

Love - Discover if appointments are a thing of the past

"I do not pay for the two appointments. When salts with different women 2 to 3 times each week, being a gentleman can be a real budget, "Doug, an engineer from Boston 33 years working with my husband said.

This information left me speechless: not so much the idea that there would offer to pay the bill (although, now, at the first exit would be a nice gesture, right?), But the fact that likeable this guy but not too handsome nor particularly interesting managed to get three weekly appointments with different girls.

"Where do you get?" I asked. "Do you approach complete strangers at the grocery store and invite a coffee, which then must pay themselves?".

At that time, Doug looked at me with that same expression of regret that my friends put me when I beg you let me play with their accounts Tinder to choose them a good boy. "Of course not. The meeting on Ok Cupid and other online dating sites, "he said, assuring me that the day he meets a woman in a supermarket, offer to pay.

Another time

To be with the same man for 10 years, I fully believe illiterate in the art of dating: at the risk of sounding like my mother, I must admit that the last time I went out with someone new, phoned me and invited me to dinner (and I only have 31, hello!).

That's why when my friends receive a text message on a Saturday at 9 pm inviting them to hanguear, I take some of my boxes.

Imagine: a few days ago met Jen super handsome guy through some friends, and after a brief conversation, he asked her out for the weekend. "What day suits you better, on Friday or Saturday?" He asked, educadísimo. She said that on Saturday. (It is worth mentioning that in preparation for the event, she bought a new dress, she googled the boy in question and even said no to a super fun party).

And what happened the day of the appointment? Well, you received this SMS:

"I'm in a bar with my friends from school, see if you want to hanguear and drink something."

So is it that men do not know what is a date? Or will the girls "old fashioned" we must adjust our expectations?

The hook-up culture

"Tinder know anyone in or happen, you send some messages, you find out there and maybe spend well. That's what you do while waiting to get to know someone seriously, "explains Martina me a realtor for 30 years who lives in New York. "In 2015, I must have been on about 50 events of this type: the two sometimes alone, sometimes with friends ... It's rare that a second output is generated," he confesses.

Moreover, my friend Paul, a musician, 27, admits: "Usually, I avoid inviting girls to dinner or buy gifts, because that can send the message that I have something serious to them. And not that I'm not ready for a relationship, it's ... Well, I do not know. FOMO "he admits, referring to his fear of missing something or someone (fear of missing out).

According to Hanna Rosin, author of a book on the subject, what happens to Paul would be super common. Moreover, he explained in an interview with The New York Times, many young men today have no experience in formal outputs, and feel they need to be something ironic about the process because they think they might offend women to carry on appointments to the old-fashioned.

So, is it that courtship is obsolete? Although this depends on each couple, there seems to be a trend among millennials to avoid the classic "dinner and a movie". Rather, it is "Netflix and chill".

Related Tags

love relationship appointments girls psychology expression man expectations

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